I heart spam of the non-spiced-porcine variety.

Stock tips, cheap Xanax, the quadrillions I’ve won in Zimbabwean lotteries, the offers of easy sex and perkier mammaries, the nice people who want to give me money to help them with fund transfers; all contribute towards making me a wealthier and more desirable human being. And now these noble spammers have provided me with cogent aphorisms that simply must (must, i tell you) be shared with the rest of the blogosphere:

• If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.
• Life is hardly more than a fraction of a second. Such a little time to prepare oneself for eternity!
• A grave blockhead should always go about with a lively one — they show one another off to the best advantage.
• It takes three to make a child.
• All my life through, the new sights of Nature made me rejoice like a child.
• Flowers are happy things.
• Politeness is the art of choosing among one’s real thoughts.
• Give me one friend, just one, who meets The needs of all my varying moods.
• Fearless minds climb soonest into crowns.
• Luck? Sure. But only after long practice and only with the ability to think under pressure.
• There’s only one free person in this society, and he is white and male.
• Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of His might. [Ephesians 6:10]
• The business that considers itself immune to the necessity for advertising sooner or later finds itself immune to business.

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